


My Best Fiend's Wedding

by UtopiaPlanitia



Series: Fiends in Love [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (Insert Trope) To Avoid Execution, Armitage Hux Has Feelings, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Canon-Typical Violence, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, First Kiss, First Time, Forced Marriage, Humor, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Finn/Rose Tico, Minor Kylo Ren/Rey, Mutual Pining, Resistance Member Armitage Hux, Sharing a Bed, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, Wedding Night, Weddings, both minor pairings are blink and you miss it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:35:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28898256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UtopiaPlanitia/pseuds/UtopiaPlanitia
Summary: How to marry off your spy to save him from certain death without catching feelings along the way.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Armitage Hux
Series: Fiends in Love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2132499
Comments: 35
Kudos: 32
Collections: Hoelidays Gift Exchange 2021





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gyoro_and_Ururun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gyoro_and_Ururun/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to my beta Saklani - couldn't have done it without you! Thank you for cheering me on and making this so much better than it would haven been had I been on my onw.  
> And thank you Gyoro, this was a fun assignement, and I had a blast writing it!

“I do.”

And with those two little words, Armitage Hux became Armitage Dameron-Hux.

“You may now seal your marriage,” the officiant announced.

Poe Dameron twisted his lips into a smile before turning to his husband, giving him a peck on his pinched mouth. His husband. Just how did he get into these situations? Only a few weeks ago, he’d been a free man.

Oh, right – he _hadn’t_ been. And that’s how it had all started.

____________________________________________________________

“Actually... I'd like to do this myself.” 

Poe heard the slimy bastard say those words behind him, taking over their execution from the stormtroopers. He would not give the asshole the satisfaction of trembling in fear. Instead, he glanced at Finn, stony-faced beside him. “What were you going to tell Rey before?” Poe asked out of the corner of his mouth.

“You still on that?” Finn side-eyed him.

“Oh, I’m sorry, is this a bad time?” The familiar bickering felt good, even if Chewbacca didn’t seem to share that sentiment.

“Yeah. Sort of is a bad time, Poe.”

“Well, cause later doesn't really look like an option. If you're going to let something off your chest, -” Poe heard the blaster being cocked behind him, but kept talking “-maybe now's not the worst time to…”

The blaster went off. Poe couldn't help ducking his head, as useless a gesture as that was. When the expected pain and death didn’t come, all three of them turned around to a view of Hux holding the still smoking weapon, stormtroopers dead by his feet.

“I’m the spy.”

He knew it! Some mannerisms were so… Hux, all stiff, easy to tease and yet, so ruthlessly effective. Even if Finn didn’t believe him, but what did he know – he wasn’t the spy’s handler! But there was no time to discuss that then, as Hux led them through the ship to the landing dock the Falcon was in, BB-8 and the other droids joining them just in time. Hux hastened them in, and Poe went as fast as he could when he heard Hux hold up Finn.

“Wait. Wait. Blast me in the arm. Quick.”

What?!

“What?!” Poe heard Finn echo his thought.

“Or they’ll know.” Hux seemed serious. 

Kriff. Poe really hadn’t stopped to think what helping them would mean for Hux, he was right, his life was in danger! They could not just shoot him, they – too late, Finn’s blaster went off.

“No! Ahh!” Poe turned around in alarm. Hux lay on the floor, clutching his leg. What in the blazes?

“What did you do that for? He asked you to shoot him in the arm!” Poe yelled at Finn.

“He’s a traitor!”

“So are you,” Hux chimed in from his place on the floor, scowling at the former stormtrooper. 

Finn just talked over him. “He’s helping us now, but what if he changes his mind at the last moment!?” 

Poe could not quite dismiss this fear out of hand and combined with his own concern for Hux, he came to a decision. “We’ll take him with us.”

“No!” 

“Are you out of your mind Poe?” 

Oh, now they were in agreement. Great. 

Chewbacca roared at them to hurry up, so Poe bent down and grabbed Hux. “No time to discuss this! Finn, get his other arm and let’s go!”

Hux, stubborn bastard that he was, struggled against their hold, upsetting the wound in his leg even more. It couldn’t be helped, they had to escape now! Finn and he lugged Hux into the crew quarters on the Falcon where they left Hux and his pained groans in one of the bunks.

After they rescued Rey and made their narrow escape, Poe made his way back to Hux, medikit in hand. “Let me have a look at your leg.”

“The leg that FN-2187 shot me in and on which you two buffoons dragged me along on? Haven’t you done enough damage?!”

“Just trying to help here, Hux. Come on, you don’t want to bleed to death, do you?” Poe pulled up a stool right next to the bunk and bent his head to get a closer look of the wound. “I’ll have to cut off the trouser leg. Sorry, there’s just no saving these.” Poe looked up into Hux’s face, watching him flinch and then lay down.

“Just do it,” Hux looked even paler than usual, and Poe hurried to see to his injury. Despite Poe’s best efforts, Hux pressed out gasps of pain between his clenched teeth, his hands balled up into fists.

“There. That’s it, you should be fine until we get back to the base.” 

Poe started to pack the medkit when Hux grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled his face uncomfortably close to Hux's. “Remember that promise you gave me.”

“What promise?” Poe asked, confused. 

But Hux’s grip relaxed, releasing Poe, and his eyes closed. No more getting any answers out of him – he was out for the count.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this sounds kind of familiar - yes, half of the dialogue is borrowed from the TROS script.  
> All the other chapters are a bit more original. I promise.


	2. Chapter 2

“Any idea what Hux was talking about?” Poe asked, bowed over the Falcon’s dejarik board with Finn and Rey. 

“In the initial talk I had with our spy, before you became their handler, Poe, I made a pledge to them,” the small image of General Leia Organa answered, displayed by the holoprojector Poe held in his hand. “In exchange for information, they would get a pardon – provided we win and they survive the war.” 

“You can’t just let him go, after all he’s done!” Finn almost exploded with consternation, hands balled into fists.

“He did risk his life to save us,” Poe tried to appease him, laying his free hand on his shoulder. “Many others would be dead without the intel he gave us.”

“I’m afraid there is more,” General Organa resumed speaking. “For that pardon to be unassailable, it has to be valid under the laws of the New Republic. For that, he would have to be a citizen of the New Republic, which he isn’t, and I don’t have the authority to make him one. The only other possibility is that his spouse is a citizen.”

“Hux is married?” Poe marveled. “Doesn’t seem the type.” Hux had never mentioned having a partner. Maybe it had been an arranged marriage, and he had hidden them away on a planet in the Outer Rim? Poe wouldn't find that too far-fetched for Hux.

“No, he’s not,” General Organa answered. “You have to understand, we were in a desperate situation. I promised him that the Resistance would provide him with a choice of suitable partners should the necessity arise and let him have his unfettered choice of applicants.”

“WHAT!?” This time, Poe and Finn were united in their outrage, accompanied by a snort from Rey.

“You heard me. We have to find him someone and we need to make it look convincing. I'm open to suggestions. And volunteers.”

Poe exchanged looks with Finn and Rey, his own disbelief reflected in their faces. Who in their right mind would voluntarily bind themselves to the likes of Hux? Just what the Resistance needed – another task that seemed almost insurmountable. 

Leia let out a sigh. “I will talk with him as soon as you arrive. And all of you – well done. May the force be with you.”

Thus began the search for a spouse for one Armitage Hux, former General of the hated First Order.


	3. Chapter 3

As promised, Hux's leg got treated as soon as they arrived. He stayed in the medbay for a few days to recover. Poe was glad to hear that Dr. Kalonia was confident that he would not retain any permanent damage.

Meanwhile, the search for a spouse for Hux began. A discreet advertisement was placed in the Resistance’s internal holonet, asking the suitors to send in their applications in writing. Despite the fact that many members of the Resistance met Hux with mistrust, it did not take long for the first to arrive, to Poe’s surprise.

Poe made sure to check on Hux every day when he could. This morning, Hux and Rose were busy checking out a damaged astromech when Poe came into their workroom. After getting a clean bill of health, Hux had been put under Rose’s supervision, helping out with repairs on a variety of technology. Hux had been wary at first, clearly expecting to be treated as a prisoner, but seemed to integrate more each day.

“Good morning, Rose. Hugs. Looking better every day.” He wasn’t even lying – Hux’s face was not only back to its usual paleness, but had gained a healthier hue. Said face was now scowling at him from where Hux perched behind his workbench. 

Poe turned to Rose. “Is it a bad time, Rosie? I can come back later.”

“No, don’t worry – I was about to take a break anyway.” Rose stretched from her hunched over position, making her back pop, and grabbed her oversized mug. “I’ll go get some more caf. Tea for you, Armitage?”

“Yes, please, Major.”

Major. So, Hux could be polite if he wanted to. And since when did Rose call him by his given name? And why did that bother him? Huh. Poe brushed away the thought, sat down on a corner of Hux’s workbench and let his legs dangle, earning himself another evil look.

“How’s the leg?”

“Still got nothing better to do than playing nursemaid?”

“Kinky. Didn’t know you were into roleplay.” Poe’s mouth stretched into a smile when Hux's cheeks turned pink. He really was fun to tease, in person even more than in their talks as spy and handler. 

Hmm. Handling Hux. Bad Poe, no, not going there, Hux had enough unwanted attention as it was. Speaking of which…

“Have you had another look at the applications? We got in a few more today,” Poe tried to sound neutral as he turned on the datapad he’d brought. The idea of Hux being forced to marry just didn’t sit right with him. Yes, the man had committed atrocities in the name of bringing order to the galaxy, but he was trying to make up for it. Poe didn’t believe the reason Hux had given him when he’d asked. “I just want Kylo Ren to lose” wasn’t enough of a motivation, even for a man as vindictive as Hux.

“Have you?” Hux grabbed his own pad (limited access for now, they weren’t completely stupid) and read out in a monotone: “Dear General Hux. I’m a 56-year-old healthy human male. I like photon fizzles and getting caught in the rain. I would very much like to meet you. Let me clean your boots with my tongue while you scold me for being a bad, bad boy, a really, really, bad boy, so bad, yeah, daddy, let me ride your TIE fighter, smack my butt, I can take it. We’ll be so good for each other!” He let the pad sink. “I’m not sharing that sentiment. Highly unhygienic, too.”

“Uh.” Poe tried to find the right words. Images of a stern-faced Hux looking down as Poe serviced him flashed through his brain, warring with the urge to laugh at Hux's consternated face.

“Oh, there’s more.” Hux started scrolling. “This one wants _me_ to do the bootlicking and show me my place. Doesn’t specify where he thinks that is.” More furious wiping. “This is another good one. Says he’ll make me wear a pretty maid uniform. If I clean up his quarters really well, I’ll get a reward. I’ll spoil it for you, Dameron – the reward is the cretin’s cock.”

“Oh, uh, that’s...” Poe tried to answer again. His brain floated with images of Hux in a short skirt, and he didn’t trust himself to not say something inappropriate. Kriff, he was no better than those men writing to Hux – a thought he really didn't like. Thankfully, Hux wasn’t finished.

“This one is one of yours, isn’t it?” Hux turned the datapad to show Poe a picture of a brightly smiling Snap. “Temmin Wexley here writes about how much he’d like to polish my ship, give it a real shine,” Hux furrowed his brow. “Actually, in his case, I’m not quite sure if it’s a euphemism, or if Mr. Wexley is just very simple-minded.” Hux put the datapad down with a bang that made Poe cringe.

“I’m sorry, Hux. We could always prescreen the responses if that's what you prefer?”

“I’d prefer to not be in this situation. May I remind you that I wouldn't be if you hadn’t insisted on dragging me along?”

“How many times do you want me to say sorry for that? Sorry that I was so worried about you that I saved your kriffing life!” Poe threw up his hands, tired of going over this every day. 

Hux flinched away from him, making Poe feel even worse.

“Just – I am sorry you’re in this situation. I know it sucks.”

“Alright,” Hux replied, face blank. “I just have one question, Dameron.”

“Yes?”

“With all this fascination for cleaning and polishing – why is the Resistance so filthy?”

Poe was dumbfounded for a moment, before a laugh burst from his mouth. “Maker, Hugs, aren’t you full of surprises?” Poe smiled, noting the pleased expression on Hux's face. When he wasn’t scowling or screaming, he really wasn’t that bad to look at. Still chuckling, he turned his attention back to his datapad, where something caught his eye.

“Hm. I can’t help but notice – those were all men. You’re not interested in women?” And just why did he feel a sense of excitement at that thought?

“I deleted those without reading. I’m not going to father a child in a relationship free of affection. I have seen the damage that can do, and I will not afflict that on another child if I can help it.”

Kriff. If that meant what Poe thought it meant, he had another thing to say sorry for. “I didn’t know… when I told you I had a message from your mother – I swear I had no idea, Hux. Still don’t, really.”

“You must be serious when you’re using my proper name. I guess I can be magnanimous and forgive you,” Hux answered with the graciousness of a monarch who stooped down to favor a common peasant with his presence.

“Thank you,” Poe answered, only half in jest. “And just so you know – you’re also not that pasty.”

“You just can’t help yourself, can you?” 

Huh. That sounded almost fond. Must be his imagination. 

Rose chose that moment to come back in, handing a cup to Hux.

“Still no tarine tea, I’m afraid, but I asked for the bitterest, darkest brew they had.”

“Thank you,” Hux answered, taking the steaming cup and delicately sniffing it. “This will do, I’m sure.”

“Guess that means the break is over.” Poe jumped down from the bench. “Dinner in the cafeteria tonight, Hux. I’ll come and fetch you if you’re not there.”

“Don’t worry, Poe, I’ll remind him to go,” Rose chimed in. Poe wasn't sure she was the best person for the job because she frequently kept losing track of time on the job, but kriff it – he’d just have to go get both of them. The more the merrier, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Curious to see if anyone can find the two references in this chapter.  
> (I answered in the comments what they are, if anyone's interested. Kudos to my beta - she caught one while correcting ^^).


	4. Chapter 4

Hux sipped his tea while he compared the construction plan to the reality of the inner workings of the R3-unit on his workbench. They didn't have much in common anymore, so many parts had been soldered, replaced or even just left out. It was a borderline miracle that it had done its job until recently – how typical for the Resistance, even their droids ran on luck.

“Hm.” Hux looked up at Rose Tico who was watching him out of narrowed eyes.

“Yes?”

“I didn't want to eavesdrop, but I couldn’t help overhearing some parts of your conversation with Poe. And I have to ask you… are you trying to sabotage yourself?” She had his datapad in her hand before he could stop her, turning her body away from his outstretched hand. “I know you have some candidates that are more acceptable than the ones you chose to show Poe. Kriff, you talked to me about most of them! Ah, yeah, here, this widower – looking for an end of the war, believes in reaching out his hand to the enemy, blah blah blah, looks really nice, too!”

“He’s too blond.”

“Too blond?”

“Yes. Light hair will clash horribly with mine. Our wedding holos won’t look good.”

“Right. Sure. Whatever you say.”

There was no reason for Tico to doubt his honesty. Hux knew the importance of optics. It was not for nothing that the colors of the First Order were red and black and not, say, orange and yellow.

“Okay, how about him.” Tico was not ready to give up. She had pulled up a picture of a rather good-looking man with dark brown hair. “Right hair color. Works in provision. Wow, those are some impressive muscles!”

Hm, yes. Hux had noticed. Had spent some quality time ogling them, to be honest – with a hand over the man’s face, but no need to tell Tico that.

“Too tall,” he answered instead.

“He’s your height!”

“I’ll have you know that I enjoy looking down at people.”

Tico murmured something that sounded like, “Ain’t that the truth,” while searching again.

“Ah! Yeah, this one. Fits all your criteria. Writes very eloquently. Reminds me a bit of you with all his fancy vocabulary. A-wing pilot.” Tico raised an eyebrow. “Oh, let me guess – he’s out because he’s a pilot?”

“What sort of snob do you take me for?” Hux grabbed the pad and skipped over the text. “He sounds dull, we’d bore each other to death! May I remind you I’m doing this so I won’t die?!”

“Now you’re just being melodramatic.” Tico tapped her chin. “So, not light haired, not tall, and not too serious. You wouldn’t mind if he’s a pilot… Dark hair. On the smaller side. Sense of humor. A pilot. You  _ do  _ know who fits that description, right?”

Hux did. Didn’t mean he had to acknowledge it. “I have no idea. And I don’t want to talk about it.” He pointed at the droid. “It stings to admit it, but I need your assistance. I have no idea how this thing worked at all and why it stopped doing so.”

“Okay, letting you off the hook for now. Just remember that time is running out – the New Republic's government-in-exile keeps asking Leia for results.” She bent over the droid. “Hand me that hydrospanner, please.”


	5. Chapter 5

Poe had just finished eating lunch in the cafeteria with Finn when they got the message to report to the command center.

“So, Hux’s leg is fully recovered?” Finn asked, walking through the base next to Poe.

“Yes, he’s back to parading around. Doesn’t have the same effect anymore though, without his hair stuck in that pomade helmet. Makes him look a lot more human.” Now that wasn’t fair. Oddly enough, Hux had hardly given them any trouble. “He’s oddly tolerable. Doesn’t look half bad when he’s not sneering, too.”

“Huh. How’s the search going along? Hux still hasn’t chosen?” Finn asked, stepping out of the way for a droid loaded with crates.

“Not yet, no. Can’t really fault him – some of those letters he got are downright creepy. I mean, I don’t mind experimenting, but I wouldn’t put that in a marriage proposal!” Every time Poe recalled these notes, he felt indignant on Hux's behalf. “Even Hux deserves better!”

“I guess you’re right. He did save us, as you don’t get tired of mentioning.”

Yeah, cause he did, and Poe was thankful for it. As Finn should be. Not to forget...

“And you shot him!”

“And I shot him!” Finn threw up his arms, almost hitting a passer-by in the face. “See, one more thing I have to make up for.”

“Well, he did ask for it, so don't beat yourself up over it, buddy!” Poe clapped Finn’s shoulder. Seemed like he truly was sorry.

“No, you’re right, I have to make it right. I’ll go tell Leia I'll do it!”

“Do what?” Poe drew a blank. What was he on about?

“Why, marry Hux, of course!” Finn answered, like that should have been obvious. Which it wasn’t, where did Finn get these ideas from?

“What? You can't!"

“Of course I can! I’d be a good fit, too. Rose told me he wants someone with dark hair, not as tall as him, sense of humor. Don’t know what he wants that for, but I can be funny. And I can learn how to be a pilot, cause it seems he wants his husband to be one.” First time Poe heard about that. He couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Why hadn’t Hux talked about it with him? Hadn’t they built some trust?

“It's the right thing to do. You said it yourself – we owe him!” Finn continued.

“Yes, but he's my responsibility! I forced him to come with us, and I ordered you to help me do it! And I already am a pilot! If anyone here is marrying Hux, it's me!”

Poe sped up before Finn got the chance to do something stupid. Really, he should have seen it earlier – him marrying Hux was the ideal solution. He just hoped that the stubborn man wouldn't be difficult about it.


	6. Chapter 6

Finn watched Poe go before he followed at a more measured pace. That had almost been too easy.

At the command center, General Organa and Lieutenant Kaydel Ko Connix were already waiting for them. Poe seemed to want to waste no time in putting his decision into action, and hurried toward Leia. 

“General, I have something to tell you – I…”

“Whatever it is Poe, I’m afraid it will have to wait, ”Leia interrupted him. “We have received worrying news. Lieutenant Connix will inform you as soon as Mr. Hux is here.”

Speak of the devil – Finn saw Hux, together with Rose, hurry in. They were both still in their work clothes. 

Finn caught Rose’s eyes and winked. She answered with a slight smile. Finn's gaze continued to Hux, who was holding eye contact with Poe. Interesting.

“Excellent. Kaydel, if you would.” Leia sat down, leaving the floor to her aide.

“Thank you General. At Leia’s request, I conducted the consultations with the government-in-exile. At that time, they very reluctantly agreed that our spy could receive a full pardon if they married a citizen. Hearing that the spy was General Hux – let’s just say it took a lot of convincing to hold them to their word.” Kaydel operated a few buttons on the console in front of her, accessing a file. “To make a long story short – they aren’t happy, and they’ve given us a deadline. Either General Hux is married by then, or we will have to surrender him to them.”

“They can’t do that!” Poe seemed to take that rather personally. 

Hux kept quiet, standing rigid, hands balled into fists.

“They hold no real power right now, yes, but we don’t want to get on the outs with them.” Kaydel opened another file, a list of names. “Some of our most important sponsors are part of the council. We can't afford to upset them.”

“General Hux.” Leia leaned forward. “You do have several candidates available. We did our part. I suggest that you do yours and choose someone.”

“Yes. I will. If you will excuse me.” 

Leia nodded at him, and Hux made a move to leave. Poe stepped into his path.

“Hux. Wait.” Poe fumbled under his shirt before he pulled out his necklace and got down on one knee. 

Finn knew its story – the ring on it had been the wedding ring of Poe’s mother. Would he really? Yes, Poe opened the fastener and held out the ring to Hux.

“Might at least do this part right. Armitage Hux – will you marry me so you won’t die? Please?”

“That is ridiculous. You can’t just throw away your life to save mine!” Hux clutched a hand to his chest like he was trying to keep it from reaching out for the ring.

“Wonder who's being ridiculous here – marrying you is not a death sentence! And I didn't see you hesitate when it came to saving our lives!” Poe got up and pulled on Hux's unresistant hand until he could push the ring onto his finger. “We are getting married, staying together ‘til this whole mess is over, and getting a divorce as soon as you want to. You’ll be a free man, I won’t have to see you die, and everyone’s happy!” Poe took a step back and crossed his arms, clearly expecting to have to fight Hux. 

Hux just stood there, staring at the ring on his hand with his mouth slightly open.

“That does sound like a good solution. Do you concur, General Hux?” 

At Leia’s words, Hux closed his mouth and straightened up, back to his stiff self. “Yes. I thank you for your offer, Commander Dameron. I accept it.”

Finn joined the chorus of congratulations and patted Poe on the back. They were interrupted by Kaydel who had yet another announcement to make. “I'm afraid there's one more little thing. The marriage will only be considered legitimate if it’s consummated.”

“And how will they know?” Poe asked among various exclamations of disbelief. “Is the council going to come stand around the bed and watch?”

“No, not personally. They will send a protocol droid, equipped with a thermographic camera. It will watch from a nearby location, making sure that there’s – activity on your wedding night.”

“That’s atrocious. I won’t force anyone to have sex with me.” Hux’s face had gone bright red, his brows furrowed in anger.

“Hm. Don’t be too hasty, Hux, that’s not too bad,” Poe said, chewing on his lips. “So, no direct line of sight, only thermal images and no sound?”

Kaydel checked her notes again. “Yes. That is what I was able to trade them down to.”

Poe nodded and looked at Hux. “We can do that. Just gotta horse around a bit on that bed, give them a little show.” His mouth pulled into a broad grin. “Don’t worry Hugs, you’ll get to keep your virtue.”

After Hux’s reluctant agreement, Kaydel dragged a still grinning Poe and blushing Hux away with her to get them outfitted for the official announcement.

Finn went to stand beside Rose. “I can’t believe you persuaded me to play matchmaker for Hux. That whole female intuition thing better work.”

“Oh come on. Poe going down on his knees? The whole stunt with the ring? Hux hardly putting up a fight? You know I’m right.” And sounded adorably smug about it. 

“Still, wouldn’t it be easier…? Shouldn’t we just tell them?” 

“That they fancy each other? Nah. Let them figure it out themselves. Much more fun this way.”


	7. Chapter 7

“I do.”

And with those two little words, Armitage Hux became Armitage Dameron-Hux.

“You may now seal your marriage,” the officiant announced.

Armitage Hux turned to his newly betrothed, trying not to frown when he saw the smile on Dameron’s handsome face. He hated that he had put the other man in this situation, even if it meant saving his own life. Hux almost drew back in alarm when his husband’s face came close to his but railed himself in. Dameron’s lips landed on Hux’s, driving a surprised little gasp out of his mouth. Oh. That… wasn’t so bad. Dameron smelled nice, and his lips were warm and soft. Before Hux could stop himself, he had closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss. A second later, Dameron’s mouth was gone – and Hux wished it wasn’t. Kriff.

Dameron closed one big warm hand around his gloved one, and they followed Dameron’s astromech down the aisle. The BB-unit had a basket on a grappling arm from which he enthusiastically threw flowers into the crowd. Hux still couldn’t get over the fact that Dameron had made him sit down with the droid, so Dameron could tell BB-8 the news. Hux certainly didn't think it sweet how he had bent down to the little droid and earnestly told him of the upcoming nuptial. On the contrary – if he had not doubted the man's sanity before, he certainly would have after that conversation.

Their reception was being held in one of the base’s social rooms, hastily redecorated for the occasion. When Dameron and he entered, several people wished them well. Hux got an enthusiastic hug from Major Tico, who had acted as his Best Woman, and shook several people’s hands even though he had no idea who they were. Nor did he care to learn, for he was sure they were here for Dameron and not him.

Dameron kept touching Hux during the reception. A hand on his lower back, picking some invisible lint from his formal jacket, leaning into him, resting a head on his shoulder. It was all very vexing, and Hux tried his hardest to not enjoy it. It certainly helped when he reminded himself that it was all for show.

GU-28, the droid sent by the New Republic's government-in-exile, kept its distance, but didn’t leave them out of its photoreceptors.

“You ready to leave?” Hux shuddered from Dameron’s words spoken so close to his ear that it felt like a caress on his auricle. “I think we stayed long enough to show everyone how much in love we are. The blushing was a nice touch, by the way. Very convincing.”

“Thank you.” Better to let him believe Hux was a master of his body’s responses than the demeaning truth. “And yes, let’s go. This farce has been going on long enough.”

“Farce is a good word. Let’s go say our good-byes to Finn, Rey and Rose. I saw them chatting up that protocol droid, and they might be good to give us some pointers on what performance will be expected of us.” 

Dameron once more took him by the hand, and they went over to his friends. “Hux and I are ready for that wedding night. Can’t wait!” 

Hux felt his face flush once more. Did Dameron have to be so crude? 

FN… Finn raised an eyebrow at Dameron. “GU-28 isn’t very close. You can tone it down a bit.”

“She told us she analyzed romance novels to prepare for today,” Rey informed them with a breathy giggle. Hux had not had a chance to get to know Rey better, as she was busy with Jedi training. He was secretly glad about it – he had had his fill of Force-users. “Did you know that there’s whole books with stories of people falling in love? I made her recommend me some titles!” She pulled out a list. “‘The Bounty Hunter’s Escapade’ sounds really good. Oh, and “Midnight on Hoth” is the story of a forbidden love between a Rebel soldier and an Empire officer!” That _did_ sound intriguing, Hux thought. “But I think I’ll start with ‘The Sith that stole my Heart’.”

“I’m glad you found some reading material.” Poe smiled at her. “Anything that could help Hux and me... perform?” 

“I asked how she would evaluate whether the marriage was consummated.” Rose handed him yet another list. “Here you go.”

Hux inched closer to Dameron to look at the note along with him. His eyebrows raised at the number and variety of sexual activities listed. “I’m not sure I have that much stamina.” Dameron and Tico snorted, and Rey let out another giggle.

“It’s more like a list of – suggestions?” Tico answered. Finn added, “Just try to tick a few of the boxes, and you should be fine.” He then had the audacity to give Hux a pat on the back. To Hux's satisfaction, he swiftly removed his hand when Hux scowled at him.

“Alright, thank you Rose. Come on, baby, let’s go.” 

“Call me that one more time and there won’t be a wedding night for you. Ever again.” 

“You know how to get a man going.” 

“Just shut it Dameron, and let’s get this over with.”


	8. Chapter 8

Hux walked besides Dameron to their new quarters, heart beating fast in his chest. He didn’t really know which prospect made him more nervous – spending the night with Dameron faking sexual activities or being watched and judged for his performance.

“Here we go. Home sweet home.” Dameron entered the code and the door opened with a hiss. As a married couple, they now were entitled to a room with a double bed. Joy. Hux had avoided the room until now, leaving it to a droid to move his few belongings. He took a moment to look over the small room. It was equipped with two lockers, a sofa, a small desk and chair, and a kitchenette with a breakfast bar to the side. A narrow door led to the adjoined bathroom. One more privilege for couples – they wouldn’t have to use the community facilities anymore. 

Hux took all of this in with a glance before his gaze focused on the piece of furniture that dominated the room – the large double bed smack in the middle. Someone had taken time to decorate it with petals which looked suspiciously like the ones Dameron’s droid had pelted about.

“BB-8 made it look pretty for us. I couldn't tell him it is all fake, you saw how happy he was that I was finally getting hitched,” Dameron said with a sheepish smile, ridiculous man that he was. “Make yourself at home. I’ll go take a quick shower.”

Dameron went into the bathroom, and Hux used the time to take another, more thorough look around. Oh - there, hitched on the wall next to the bed, was the thermographic camera which would broadcast his wedding night. He had never given much thought to what it would be like to be married, but _that_ had certainly never been part of the plan.

To distract himself from thoughts about the hours ahead of him, he opened the first locker. He found his few Resistance issued clothes in it, next to what remained of his First Order uniform. He stroked the fabric. It was a most peculiar sensation, like touching a relic from the past. Had it really only been a few weeks?

Way too soon the door opened again, and Dameron stepped out in a cloud of steam. He wore a towel and nothing else. Hux quickly averted his eyes, grabbed his pajamas and hurried into the fresher to follow his example, dialing the temperature to as low as he could stand. After he had toweled himself dry, he realized his mistake – he had brought his sleepwear, but no new underpants. He picked up his old pair and held it up. It looked clean enough, but what if it smelled? What if Dameron thought he was disgusting? He couldn’t bear the thought, and got dressed in the pajamas only, shabby and ill-fitting as they were.

When he went back into the room, Dameron was already in bed waiting for him. “So, let’s do this and give that droid a show Hugs!” Dameron grinned as he held open the comforter, patting the mattress next to him. The shameless cad was only wearing a small pair of underpants, leaving his strong limbs, muscular chest with tight, dusky nipples, and slightly rounded stomach on display. 

Hux swallowed, his mouth dry all of sudden. Best to get this over with before he embarrassed himself. Hux slipped into the space Dameron had left for him and laid down on his back, not quite touching the other man.

“Alright, Dameron. How do we do this?”

“Please, call me Poe. Hugs. Armitage.” 

“Hux is fine – never really cared for my first name. Reminds me too much of my father, who only ever used it when he doled out punishment. And he did that plenty. His favorite pastime.” He was babbling. Great job making himself look weak in front of his husband.

“That’s shitty.” Dameron had turned his head to look at him, pretty brown eyes full of pity. Better to remind him who he was. 

“I took care of it. Had him killed, slowly and in agony.” 

Dameron barked out a laugh. “Thought that might have been you.” 

Hux’s eyebrows rose at that statement.

“Don’t look at me like that – I have studied your dossier, you know.” 

“It’s just surprise at the fact that you know how to read.” 

“Yeah, right.”

Dameron propped himself up on his forearm and peered down at Hux. “Okay, listen – whatever we do here tonight, I want you to feel safe. If it’s easier for you, I can try a few things, and if you don’t like something, you tell me – and I’ll stop.” 

“That does sound reasonable. The same goes for you, of course. I know you want to be here as much as I do.” Which was a lie – he would very much enjoy being in this position if the situation were different, while Dameron was here out of a misplaced feeling of responsibility.

“Of course, yeah. I’ll kiss you now. Would be weird if we didn’t kiss.” 

“Uh huh.” Eloquent. All thoughts of self-flagellation were driven out of Hux’s head as Dameron lowered his head and placed his lips on Hux's in a dry, lingering press. Hux had the sudden thought that it would look unconvincing if he just lay there, so he got a light grip on Dameron’s neck. The fine hair there was downy-soft, and he daringly petted it. Dameron’s body shuddered under his touch, so he hastily retreated his hand. The other’s mouth parted from his with a soft groan. Kriff, one minute in, and Hux had already managed to spoil it.

“Why did you stop? That felt nice.” Dameron’s face pouted down on him. Was he serious? He went on, “Remember, we’ll tell each other if we don’t like something. Just touch me, I really don’t mind.” 

“You don’t?” Hux had to be sure that hadn’t been revulsion. 

“Yes, I like being petted.” Dameron sounded serious, yet a little playful. A dangerous combination for Hux’s peace of mind. With newly gained confidence, Hux started stroking him again, and Dameron uttered a low sound of pleasure, gently rubbing his head against Hux's hand.

“You are just as needy as Millicent.” 

“Millicent? You cheating on me already, Hugs?” Dameron opened his eyes (when had he closed them?), lazily smiling down on him. 

“Millicent is- was my pet tooka. I had to leave her behind.” Lieutenant Mitaka, his former personal aide, had received instructions how to care for her if anything ever happened to Hux. No use to dwell on the thought if Mitaka had heeded them. There was nothing he could do about it, so he had tried to push his worries from his mind.

“I’m sorry Hux. We should have made time to get her.” 

“You know very well that that wasn’t possible. What’s done is done.” Why were his eyes getting wet? Not the right moment to get sentimental, better get back on track. “Enough of that. What’s next?”

“How about I blow you?” 

Hux blinked at him. 

Dameron’s eyes widened. “Fake blowing you! Of course!” 

Good, if Dameron was ‘down there’, he wouldn't be able to see Hux’s damp eyes. “Go ahead.” 

“You mean give head?” Hux groaned. Dameron snickered at his own juvenile joke and dove under the covers. Hux could feel him slipping alongside his body and lying down next to him.

“I’ll just stay here for a while and get comfortable, and you try to make some movements like you’re enjoying whatever it is the droid thinks I’m doing.”

Hux let out a startled gasp when something settled on his stomach, his hands reflexively going there, only to land on Dameron’s mop of hair. He was about to withdraw his fingers when Dameron continued talking, “Yeah, that’s good, make it look like you’re petting me while I blow you.”

Ugh. That was an image Hux really hadn’t needed in his head – or elsewhere. Dameron’s soft mouth, wet and hot on his… oh no, what was he doing, he had to stop those thoughts! His member had a mind of its own, though, and went from half-mast to full attention, forcefully tenting his pajamas. Why, why hadn’t he put on his briefs? And why did his member have to be so abnormally long that the tip now slipped out of the waistband? This was embarrassing! It should have been enough to make him go soft again, but before Hux could get a grip on himself, his whole prick slipped free, pushing the ill fitting pants down, and hit Dameron in what had to be his face. 

Dameron had the audacity to let out a snorting laugh, accompanied by a gush of warm, humid air – right over his straining length. At least he moved a bit further up Hux’s body, as Hux tried very hard not to come on the spot.

“Whoa, Hux, didn’t expect that – never knew you even liked me,” Dameron’s voice, muffled as it was from under the covers, sounded amused and a bit breathless, no doubt from being with little oxygen under the heavy duvet.

“I find you mildly tolerable. And now just stop breathing!” 

“How do you expect that to work – I am human, you know.” Dameron started chuckling again, his whole body vibrating with it. “Can’t believe you whacked me in the face.” 

“I can assure you that it is not a habit of mine.” 

“Slapping people with your cock? I'm pretty sure Kylo Ren could use a few good slaps in the face.” 

“He’ll have to find someone else’s appendage to do that.” 

Dameron burst out laughing again, the covers moving with it, and Hux couldn't help but join in. It was absurd and puerile, but the more he thought about it, the funnier it got. Taking out his erect member, whacking Pryde to the floor with it. Giving Ren a good beating.

He was so distracted that he didn't notice Dameron moving until he stuck his head out from under the covers. He reclined on all fours over Hux, barely touching him, laughter pealing from his mouth. Hux couldn't remember ever doing this, laughing with someone while being in bed together. It felt freeing, sharing this childish joy. If only he could be in this moment forever.

“You’re crying.” Dameron wiped a tender hand across Hux's damp cheek. Another first – he certainly hadn’t ever cried from laughter before. “You’re so beautiful like this. Is that inappropriate? It is, I’m sorry.” Dameron didn’t sound very sorry. And he had called him beautiful, like he meant it. 

“This is the inappropriate part? Are you sure?” Hux echoed Dameron’s touch, laying a hand over his stubbled cheek. His husband nuzzled his face into the touch, kissing his palm. Hux's breath came out in a gasp at the gesture. This was dangerous, and he really should try to remember that… 

“Can I kiss you?” Dameron’s voice sounded strained, like it took him a great deal of effort to talk. 

Kriff it. 

Hux put both hands on his neck, drew his mouth on his, and sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, greedily breathing in Dameron’s resulting moan. Their mouths continued meeting, Dameron’s tongue connecting to his, sweet and almost tender, body sagging down on Hux’s. When they made contact, it became clear that Dameron was as affected as he was. To Hux's regret, Dameron straightened up again, straining to get away from him.

“We have to stop or this won't be fake anymore.” 

“Oh.” Right. This was fake. It felt like a bucket of ice water over the head and Hux once more felt like crying – the more familiar sort of it. 

“Unless you want it as much as I do. For it not to be fake, I mean,” Poe said.

And that was the second time that day that Armitage Hux said, “I do.”

____________________________________________________________

Rose angled her head as she watched the monitor displaying the thermographic feed as seen by GU-28. It was hard to make out a clear picture (she wouldn’t be watching if it was, that would have been too weird), but it looked like Poe sat astride Hux, enthusiastically bouncing up and down while Hux held on to his buttcheeks, head thrown back.

“Does that still look fake to you?” she turned to Finn, who stood next to her with his eyes turned up at the ceiling.

“Last time I checked – no. Not looking again.” 

Rose turned to her other side. “Rey?” Rey's eyes were fixated on a point behind the monitor and she didn’t react to Rose’s words. Rose frowned as she tried to follow Rey’s line of sight but saw nothing of interest. She tried once more, gently poking Rey’s arm. Rey startled, and turned towards her. “What do you say – fake or not?” Rose asked, waving her hand towards the monitor. 

Rey and Rose both looked again. Poe was still in the same position, pouncing up and down on Hux’s groin, but he was bent over him now, his and Hux’s head touching. “Oh, they’re really going at it! Reminds me of when the porgs are in heat.” Finn heaved an agonized sigh behind their backs. Rose turned to face him.

“Think we should let GU-28 know we’re leaving?” 

“Yes. Please.” Finn answered. “And let's please never talk about this again.”

Rose slid her taser, which had lain on the console, back into her pocket. Seemed like they wouldn't need their back-up plan to zap GU-28 and mess with her memories after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry. I put these two in bed together and tried to make them getting it on, but they just kept talking and talking and making dick jokes. Quote from my beta - "This is like the least sexy talk for a marriage night ever." Guess that adds it up.
> 
> Additional information that I tried to include in the text, but it just didn't flow: Hux is okay with Rose calling him by his given name because she's a woman, and her voice sounds different enough to not cause his flashbacks.  
> Don't know if anyone even stumbled over it, but there you go.


	9. Chapter 9

Rose and Hux were working on some more defective droids when Poe came bursting into the workshop. He gave Hux a quick peck on the cheek even though Hux had told him numerous times now that he was not interested in making a spectacle out of himself for the masses. 

“A TIE fighter is approaching the base. The pilot refuses to say his name, but Leia seems to know him. She said she had to meet him on her own.” Poe brought up the collected data on one of the workstations. “That TIE fighter – what do you make of it, Hugs?”

“Stop calling me that,” Hux absentmindedly answered while looking at the screen, only to feel himself freeze up. The Silencer. No!

Hux pushed past the others, running toward the landing pad. He heard footsteps behind him – Rose and Poe – who soon caught up to him. Kriff his still not fully functional leg!

“Whoever he is – he says he wants the same deal General Hux got,” Poe explained, just as they turned the last corner and the landing pad came into view. On it stood the unmistakable figure of Kylo Ren, together with General Organa and Rey.

“Ren! It’s Kylo Ren! And there is no way he is going to get you. I will not let you go again!” Hux exclaimed, only realizing what had come out of his mouth when Dameron’s face lit up in a blinding smile. Urgh. Like directly looking into a sun. Atrocious.

“I don’t think he’s here for me, Hugs,” Poe answered while they watched as Rey, Leia and Ren engage in what could only be called a group hug.

“I don’t care what he’s here for. I will never forgive him,” Hux hissed.

Rose shaded her eyes with her hand and looked at Ren’s ship. “Is that a tooka? Wow, yes, it is, and it’s fast!”

Hux couldn't believe his eyes. Jumping from the ship’s ramp and sprinting towards him like orange lightning was his beloved pet, mewing at the tops of her lungs.

“Millicent,” he whispered, and started to run towards her. She jumped into his arms, making him stagger under her weight, and he started crying into her soft fur. He really should stop crying at every little thing it was becoming an embarrassing habit. He chanced a look at Ren over the General’s and the Jedi’s heads, giving him a short nod. Tomorrow, he’d go back to hating him. Today, he had better things to do.

Like going back to his husband, holding Millicent in his arms while she tried to lick his face. He introduced her to Poe and Rose and waited patiently until they had both admired her at length, as was her due.

“She’s precious,” Rose cooed. “Take the rest of the day off Armitage. That’s an order.”

Hux gratefully watched her go before looking once more at Poe who was still softly petting Millicent’s fur. 

“She is. Oh, and Hugs? I would be very happy if you did not let me go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it - the (very sappy) end! Hope you liked it, Gyoro.
> 
> Edit: I wrote a follow-up - after all, Poe and Hux still got that list from GU-28 ;-).


End file.
